Remember When
by CrazyOnDisplay
Summary: Two-shot: Sent on a mission in the living world, Rukia went missing. 3 months later she was found, only to have lost her memory of who she was...so why is Hitsugaya Toshirou so upset about this? HitsuRuki. Rated M just in case :D


**A/N: Holy cripes...this one-shot honestly took my a month and a half...okay maybe it was just a month! But dang did it take long! So long that in spots you could definitely tell when I didn't write as good as other spots, lol! Near the end I think I might of slacked somewhat too...well okay maybe alot, lol! But I did however finish it, and I find that the most important thing...hopefully :D**

**Warning: There is sexual content and other scenes that inappropriate for younger viewers, though I hope you all enjoy :D**

**Anywho, this one-shot is mainly based on flashbacks...so there are quite a few of them! So to save myself from writing --(flashback)-- and --(end of Flashback)-- I will just be using lines and slanted writing for the flashbacks! I'm sure you would of figured it out on your own XD Anyways, I will keep you no longer (if people actually do read A/N's) and will now allow you to continue on :D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...**

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

She could hear them in the distance, advancing relentlessly. Pursuing relentlessly, as death pursues life.

Gods she was going to die, she new she was going to die. The thought made her incredulous. Somehow, she had never really believed this moment would come. The idea had always loitered in the back of her mind that she would somehow be able to cheat her way out of her second death, that she would be able to deal her way out of the inevitable. She had always been a heroine, gambler, daredevil, risk-taker...somehow she had always managed to beat the odds. Her heart fluttered and he throat clenched at the idea that she would not beat them this time.

The whole notion of her own mortality stunned her, and she wanted to stop and stare at herself, as if she were having an out-of-body experience, as if this person running were someone she knew only in passing. But she couldn't stop, the roars of the hollows drove her on. The instinct of self-preservation spurred her to keep her feet moving.

She lunged up the steady grade of the mountain, tripping over exposed roots and fallen branches. Brush grabbed her clothing and clawed at her bloodied face like bony fingers. Pain seared through her as her elbow cracked against a stone half buried in the soft loam. She will not make it. The wound across her abdomen was deep, gushing alarming amounts of blood. Infection had already seeped its way through the small cuts on her body.

She stopped abruptly, gasping for large amounts of breath. She was no coward! She doesn't run away from a battle, even if she had no chance of survival! Her brother, her taichou, Ichigo, her friends...and him! They all taught her better than this!

Turning her already worn and battered body around, she looked through the darkened forest behind her. She will face them, all of them, and she will battle till her last breath!

* * *

He brought his zunpakto down in a wide arc, slicing through the massive hollow. _One down, four more to go..._

The loud booming roars erupted through the small clearing as the now four hollows emerged through the darkened forest, shadowed by trees. The already small clearing only got smaller as the four beasts circled around the short white haired shinigami.

He stood still, his sword still clutched tightly in his hand, only now it lay at his side. He wasn't scared, nervous, or agitated. No, he just stood there in a calming silence, unmoving. His breathing was even calm, coming out in short smooth breaths. He new what he was doing, he was skilled in these situations, a master at this standpoint. If it were anyone lower than he, they would of ran away in fright, like a dog with its tail between its legs. But not he!

A slight twitch of his wrist was the only possible warning for the unfortunate creatures. He fazed out before their eyes, disappearing completely. It was not even seconds later when he reappeared behind one of the four beasts, making a swift movement of his sword. That's all it took as the beast fell forward, disappearing from sight, its roar of agony slowly dying along with him.

The other three turned around to regard the small being. The hollow on the left didn't have a chance to view the shinigami as he too was cut down, his body disappearing just as the one before had.

Finally realizing it was time to take action, one of the remaining two hollows thrust his enormous hand forward, it's claws stretching ahead. The outstretched claws dug into the earth where the shinigami once stood, jutting up jagged pieces of dirt. The hollow removed its hand from the mossy forest ground, swinging it sideways in hopes of it connecting with the shinigami.

Air. That was the only thing he felt, before a searing pain shot through his upper arm. Howling in pain, the hollow looked downwards, only to find his once attached arm, fall to the ground in a bloody scrap heap. The shinigami materialized before the beast, his back turned towards him. He moved slightly so his deep turqoise eyes were able to gaze at him.

Grabbing the hilt of his now bloodied sword with his other hand, he turned and jumped in the air. Gravity slowly pulled the small body downwards, and in one fluid motion, the sharp blade of his sword sliced through the monster. Both parts of it's body fell sideways, dissipating before it even hit the solid earth.

One more. Just one more nuisance to take care of here, and then he could continue his search. A search that blunderingly lasted three months. A search that he would never give up on.

Seeing its obvious misfortune, said hollow dashed towards the huge grove in hopes of escape. '_Not quite..._' It was a short thought, one that came along with a smirk.

Before the beast had even reached the forests edge, a sword broke through the bleach white mask of his face. He had no chance at all. Not with the already pissed off shinigami-taichou.

Removing his sword from the hollows massive head, he landed back on the mossy forest floor, sword already sheathed.

He sighed in annoyance. '_That was it!?_'. He had thought it'd be more of a challenge! He had hoped it would be more of a challenge! He was angry and frustrated, clearly on the edge of an outburst. Thinking this 'little' battle would have helped some, even a little, to release some of his stress and anger. But he was wrong, terribly wrong! The one-sided battle (as he would call it), barely ceased even a little of his frustration.

Slowly fluttering out from the sheltered forest, one small, black butterfly made its way to the taichou. Already noticing it before it had made it's visual appearance, he stuck out his hand for the butterfly to land.

Once it landed gracefully on his open palm, a voiced message rang through his ears alone, leaving the forest in its still serene atmosphere.

"_Taichou its urgent! We found her! We found her alive! We are currently a few miles west from your position, near a small cave in the side of the cliff! But taichou there's-_"

He didn't need to hear more. Once the loud and impelling voice of his lieutenant reached his ears, along with the first few sentences, he was gone. The hell butterfly was left behind in its original position, along with the remains of the message it had brought along with it.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find them, rather easily actually. Sensing riatsu came quite easy, especially if you were a high ranked shinigami, like a taichou for example.

He shunpoed inside, trying to waste little time as ever to reach them. He walked closer to the crowded circle of people, trying hard not to appear anxious or relieved. It wasn't like him to show outward emotions...at least not easily.

"Move aside!" It was an instant command, one that left no room for argument.

The three shingami that were currently in his way moved aside to allow him through. He looked at his lieutenant, Matsumoto, as she hovered over a small girl. His gaze drifted downwards, and his eyes widened in shock. Its true! They finally found her!

The small girl lying down wore a similar outfit as the other shinigami's, but with the fact that hers were shredded across her abdomen and arms. The torn cloth showed off her numerous wounds, blood soaking through the black and white material underneath. It was a horrifying site, one that would leave some queasy. Infection was spreading through her many wounds, black liquid oozed out of the large gash.

"She's alive Taichou! She was conscious when we found her, but barely..." She trailed off and looked back down towards the frail looking girl.

She moaned in pain, and a hand shot forward to clutch at her wound. Hitsugaya was instantly beside her, a hand grasping her shoulder. It was an unconscious movement, one that he would slap himself for. But now he didn't care. Even if all of Seiretie were here to witness it, he didn't care.

Her eyes fluttered somewhat before the opened completely. She was gazing at the ceiling of the cave before her eyes shifted sideways, glancing at the worried face of Matsumoto. Confusing and fear flickered across the girls face, and she turned her head the other way when a slight movement caught her attention. It only worried the girl more when she came face to face with someone else, only this one being a male.

In a quick hast, she crawled backwards, ignoring the small rough rocks cut through her already bloody palms. More fear flooded her large violet eyes as she felt the rough texture of the cave wall dig into her back. She had nowhere to go, the only escape being blocked by the many people surrounding her.

Hitsugaya looked somewhat hurt at her actions, only allowing it to show for a mere .2 seconds. He stood from his kneeling position on the ground and regarded the frightened girl. Why was she so scared? Does she not remember us?

"W-who are you? W-where am I-I?" Well that answered his questions.

Her voice came out in a weak cough, as she grasped the ripped cloth tighter. Her wounds were tremendous and it was taking a great deal for her to breathe properly, let alone talk. It was surprising that she was still alive in her state. Any weaker shingami would have already subcome to the wounds.

It surprised all of them to say the least. Were her eyes clouded? her vision blurred? her mind jumbled? How could she not know where she was, who they were?

"R-Rukia, its us...your friends! Don't you remember?" Matsumoto smiled warmly at the girl and crawled closer. Her smile disappeared just as quickly as Rukia jumped backwards in slight shock. A slight frown creased her face from the reaction.

Shaking her head as much as her sore muscles allowed it, she responded back. "I-I don't know you! I-I don't remember anything!"

Rukia trailed off as the all to familiar blackness engulfed her vision once more. She slumped sideways, only to be caught by a pair of two strong apendages. Hitsugaya gazed down at the girl in his arms, his brows creasing inwards in frustration. '_She doesn't remember anything! Anyone!_' It irritated him greatly and clutched the small body tighter, unaware of the action.

"Taichou, what should we do?" Her voice was slightly strained from holding back the shock.

"We need to get her to Soul Society quickly! Her wounds need to be treated immediately, it is a wonder she lasted this long!"

"Yes taichou!"

Matsumoto quickly grabbed the key from inside her cleavage and turned to the open area. In a flash of light two doors emerged and opened. The doors to Soul Society.

He stood, the girl still tightly held in his arms, and he slowly walked towards the gate. Only when he was directly in front, only a foot away, did her turn to heed his lieutenant. "Take the others and resume scanning the area for anything else! Only when you are sure there is nothing left, report back to me. Understood?"

"Yes taichou!"

Using the quick movements of flash step, Matsumoto and the other shinigami disappeared.

He turned back towards the gate ahead. It was only then, in her presence alone, did his face soften. His eyes blurring slightly, his lips turning in a soft smile, the skin on his face becoming less tense. '_We finally found you Kuchiki!_' It was that thought alone that made him happy, and swiftly putting his hard demeanour back in place, he stepped through the gates.

* * *

"Please Kuchiki-taichou, you must calm down!"

"I've been calm enough!" Bakyau grounded out, trying as much to compose himself.

It had only been 3 hours since Hitsugaya had returned to Seireiti, a broken shinigami in his arms. Ever since then, Bayuka Kuchiki hadn't left his sister's side. He had even resorted in the constant nervous habit of lower beings by picking at the end of his robes. It was degrading to him, but as irritated as he was, he couldn't stop. However, it was a step up from his previous actions during the time that Rukia had still been missing.

"How is her progress?" Bayuka demanded, glancing at the closed doors of the recovery room. He needed a break from watching her and a little fresh air to calm his nerves. Unfortunately he had only gotten as far as the closed door before he refused to go any further.

"She is slowly progressing...I believe it will take some time though. She had been missing for a nearly two whole months! I must say I am even surprised she had survived this long." Unohona's voice slowly died down. Such a subject was to sore to converse about, but she new it had to be said. "The infection had stopped, it is now only a moments time before her wounds completely heal."

"I see," it was relieving to know she will survive from her wounds. "What of her memory? Will she regain it when she comes to?"

"It is possible, but highly unlikely. Its hard to even say if she had lost her memory the exact moment we had lost touch with her, or if she had only recently been erased of them. Even so, I believe it will take some time for her to regain them back..."

Bayuka narrowed his eyes and surveyed the door.

* * *

The room was darkened, the only source of light coming from the brimming moon outside the Fourth Division windows. It was beautiful; breathtaking, as the moons bright rays splayed across her sleeping body. Her chest rose and fell in an easful rythmn, the silent whistle of her snoring acompanying it. It was how she was when he entered, and even after ten minutes of watching, she hadn't changed.

He removed himself from the wall, walking beyond the stretching darkness. He had heard the conversation beyond the confines of the room, and when he was certain they were done, he moved forward. The first beam's of light hit his body, shimmering slightly from the bleach white head of hair. Shadows moved across his frame as he continued forwards, till alas he was at the edge of her bed.

_'Kuchiki..._' It was the only word that could process through his mind. The same word he had been saying to himself for over 3 months.

Hitsugaya placed his hand along the edge of her bed, inches away from hers. He considered himself lucky he supposed. Once Rukia had been placed under the care of Unohona in the Fourth Division, nobody was given the opportunity to visit her, courtesy of Baykua Kuchiki. He had refused and sent away anyone who had come to visit her, including Abari Renji. It just so happened Hitsugaya had stopped by at the precise moment Baykua had decided it was time for some 'fresh air'.

He had also mentioned how Hitsugaya should be granted to see her progress, for he was the one who had brought her back. Not only that but the 'lad' had refused to detach himself from the search party to find his sister; odd as it was. Although he wouldn't complain...there were many times where Hitsugaya and himself included would search at a lengthy period of time, when all others had retreated for the day.

It did raise questions though, and many rumours had spread throughout Soul Society. However such rumours were kept silenced in the presence of both Kuchiki-taichou and Hitsugaya-taichou. If these stories where to be heard by both captains, Seireiti would definitely be in the minus when it came to shinigamis.

But even Bakyua had formed some questions of his own regarding the young captain and his sister. He was told of them being spotted together before her mission in the human world. Even so, they were just conversing with one another at the time, nothing special. Nevertheless, he was very much aware of the sudden change in his sisters attitude. She had become more happy, more comfortable with herself. A breathtaking shine in the depths of her eyes.

Hitsugaya shifted slightly, moving his gaze to her porcelain face. It was quite, too quite for his liking. He wanted to hear her; to listen to the soft lyric of her voice as it drifted past his ear. Like the first time they had spoken...the first time he had been entranced by her words...

* * *

_The sounds were loud. _

_Footsteps were being heard everywhere as the streets of Seireiti were being rundown by the numerous bustle of shinigami. Time was valuable! _

_The sudden news of a winter war had left Seireiti in an uproar. The thought of battling against their former captains was unnerving, almost as unnerving as the thought of battling against these supposed Arrancar. The rumours of the tenth division captain having troubles defeating these Espada spread among the shinigami almost as fast as the supposed betrayal of Inou Orihime._

_Captains were now busying themselves by training their subordinates, while subordinates were too busy trying to keep up with the pace. It was a mess, to say the least. But that was expected when a war was being declared in such a short amount of time._

_That's why it had surprised her when she found him on the edge of a lake, miles away from Seireiti. He looked calm as his arm draped lazily along the top of his upright leg, his other splayed along the green grass. His eyes were closed, and if he hadn't opened his mouth to speak she would have believed him to be sleeping._

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"I-I'm sorry Hitsugaya-taichou! Matsumoto-san had told me I could find you here. I-If you don't mind me asking, why exactly are you here? Shouldn't you be with the rest of the captains...preparing the shinigami's for battle?" _

_"Captains need breaks as well Kuchiki! I just choose to spend mine here."_

_She supposed it was smart of him. Spending hours and hours in the presence of 'untrained' shinigami would take its toll on you, and taking a break in a secluded, peaceful area was the most efficient way to calm the nerves._

_"So do you have a reason for being here or not?" The sudden sound of his strong voice broke her out of her thoughts._

_"Oh yes," she stated, walking towards him. She dropped down on the soft grass beside him, taking a huge breath before speaking again. "Renji and I are planning on going with Ichigo. Yourichi had already informed us that him, Ishida and Chad had already gone to Huceo Mundo to retrieve Orihime."_

_"I see. But tell me exactly how that would concern me?"_

_She took another deep breath before continuing. "Well you see, I had already asked Matsumoto-san if she would come with us-"_

_"So your reason for being here is to ask permission for my lieutenant to embark on a suicidal mission in order to save your 'friend'"_

_She huffed in response, partially from being cut off in the middle of her sentence. "She was your friend too! Or have you forgotten the numerous times she healed you?" He opened his eyes, and the sudden glare sent her way clearly said 'I dare you to continue'. _

_"I have not forgotten."_

_She tore her gaze from his, shifting slightly in discomfort. Now was not the time for getting upset, especially with a captain. She calmed down some, letting her eyes become serious again. "I had not only come here to ask for permission for Matsumoto's help. Actually I was hoping you would join us as well..." she trailed off, her fingers fiddling with the soft blades of grass._

_His eyes grew slightly in surprise. Had she just asked him to join them? He had guessed they would search for Mastumoto's help, but his as well? Quickly recovering from his current bewilderment, Hitsugaya looked across the shimmering lake ahead. He supposed he was considering it, although he shouldn't be, to him the question should be simple. _

_He was a captain, one with a huge responsibility, especially in their current state. Going off in the middle of preparation for a war would be foolish of him. But he couldn't help himself from thinking it over, the question tumbling in his mind._

_After a lengthy and unfortunately awkward silence he spoke. "No, both Matsumoto and myself will not be going. As I said before, its a suicidal mission!"_

_She nodded her head in slight disappointment, even though she knew what his answer would be, it still upset her. "Yes...I understand." Even though she was finished she didn't move from her position. Instead She turned her head to look at him, her eyes portraying deep thought. She should of left by now, let him continue his peaceful silence, but she wanted to say something...ask something._

_He hated when people stared at him, and it happened to him more than the average person. His bleach white hair and deep turquoise eyes being the main attention getter. Or maybe it was his height and maturity level? Whatever the case, it was annoying._

_"If you are done then you can leave!" That seemed to draw her attention from the deep depths of her mind as she jumped in surprise._

_"Forgive me Hitsugaya-taichou...its just that I have a question for you," she waited for him to say something. Instead he waved his hand lazily as a sign to continue. "Despite what Yamamoto-gerusai says...do you believe Orihime to be a traitor? Would you say that she has betrayed those of Soul Society...her friends?"_

_It was far from what he had imagined she'd ask. He also had no doubt that he showed it as clear as day on his face. It wasn't just the fact that the question seemingly came out of nowhere, but also the fact that he found himself asking that very same question. Was Orihime really to blame? Had she truly betrayed them? He really couldn't say much for he hadn't really talked to her. Sure he had stayed at her house with Matsumoto, but at the time Orihime was in Soul Society training with Rukia. He really had no information to go about this._

_Nevertheless he answered, rather hesitantly. "Inoue Orihime, from what I know, is too kind to go along the path of betrayal. However, she did leave on her own accord...it only seems fitting that she be known as a traitor." He turned his head slightly, watching the shift of emotions splay across her face. He sighed before continuing. "But I myself do not believe her to be a traitor. If I am correct, her actions were brought only to save her friends from death...and if that be the case, than she deserves a better title."_

_Feeling sudden relief wash over her, she smiled. It was the best answer she new she would get from the silent captain, and it was good enough for her. _

_Figuring she wasted much of Hitsugaya's time, she stood up from the ground, brushing off small clumps of dirt that clung to her. She began to slowly move away from the clearing, but the sudden baritone of his voice halted her steps._

_"Kuchiki, I am guessing that your brother is aware of your plans," he didn't turn his head or avert his eyes from the lake to see if she had nodded her head, probably from lack of interest. "I'd advice you refrain from telling anyone else about it...less you wish to be caught."_

_She nodded her head, but then realizing he probably couldn't see her reaction she spoke, "Right Hitsugaya-taichou...thank you."_

* * *

It was the first time they had held a conversation with one another. And although he cared none back then, that one moment cared to him now. If she had not come to ask for his help, would they not know each other like they did now? Would he not of cared for her?

He moved his hand closer, his fingers slowly intertwining with her cold pale ones. It hurt him to feel the unmoving fingers, the lack of heat radiating off of them. They had always been so alive, so gentle and caring, and he cringed. He should of been there, should of protected her. Despit her refusal of help, he still should of gone to fight with her, like he had all those years ago...

* * *

_Her hand, painted with streams of dark red, grasped the hilt of her shattered sword. Her hand shaking, her breaths ragged, her eyes blurry. It was near, so near. Death lingered around her, it's cold hands gripping tighter around her weakened heart. If only she was stronger, if only she could save Inoue like she had promised. _

_She was weak. Fragile. Powerless. Injured..._

_Dying._

_What would they think? Would they sneer down at her dead body? Would they walk away with shame in their eyes? _

_It was always like this. She would constantly find herself in peril, injured, weakened. And with every one there was always someone to save her. Whether it be Kaine-dono, nii-sama, Ukitake-taichou, Renji, Ichigo...always was there someone there. But not now, not here. No, she was alone, alone and dying. Her spirit energy, her life, slowly withering away along with her honour. _

_She gave a strangled cry and slumped forward on the slippery crimson liquid. She was a failure, a shame to the name Kuchiki. Perhaps it was best to let her die here, to let her soul fade away in the darkness of Hueco Mundos, a name forgotten in the wisps of battle._

_The light rays of the Hueco Mundos sun splayed across her pale face from the hole her kido blast had made._

_She had no more strength. The act of slaying Kaine-dono again had weakened her, had stole what spiritual and emotional strength she had left._

_'Forgive me for my weakness...Ichi-go...' It wasn't a plea nor a beg, but more of an apology for what she thought was her mistake, her fault. _

_Her eyes drifted among her surroundings one last time, just a small glimpse to allow her to remember her final resting place. Once the bleary, faded eyes reached the discarded body of her enemy. Finally she let go, her cheeks become stained with salty tears as one thought floated through her mind._

_Never die alone..._

_'I'm sorry Kaine-dono, b-but there is no one to leave my heart to.'_

_In the last bit, of what she thought was her life, she heard the shrill laughter of the enemy echo through the room. And as blurry eyes gazed amongst the approaching arrancar, she new it was time, and she welcomed it with open arms._

_Only bits and pieces of the arrancars voice made its way to her ears and she strained to make sense of them._

_"Aaroniero Alulueri...the last...original espada...tragic demise..." it sent shivers down her already cold body as she heard the slight scraping of a sword._

_She clenched her eyes shut and waited for the inevitable. Surely it wouldn't hurt, at least not as much as the pain she was enduring now. No it would be nice, it would be painless._

_She could feel the slight draft of the wind as it sliced through the air, it's whistling descent drawing nearer. And as she waited, anticipating the final blow, the only sound that was heard was the sudden screech of metal grinding against metal._

_Harsh and worried voices streamed past her senses, the light touch of warmness encircled her. Was she dead, was she in the hands of the final god. And although the thought had lingered within her, she new it was not true. The searing pain within her chest, where Nejibana had pierced her, still throbbed. There was no pain in the final acts of death, at least that's what she believed._

_It was in her final act of strength, not knowning she possessed, that she opened her eyes once more. And what she thought would be the face of her enemy, was instead the face of her comrades. The long strawberry blonde tresses of hair washed over her face as the worried eyes of Matsumoto Rangiku gazed over her. _

_"Please Kuchiki-san hang in there, you will be alright...taichou we must hurry and take her to Unohona-taichou!"_

_The slight words directed to someone other than herself caught her attention and she shifted her head sideways, ignoring the sudden shots of pain that crept through her body. The abrupt concept of this being a dream entered her mind as she looked into the intense green eyes of one Toushirou Hitsugaya. But she new very well that it wasn't a dream, it __**felt**__ to real to be a dream._

_In a cracked voice she whispered towards him, "you came..."_

* * *

He remembered it clearly, they way her eyes shawn with unshed tears. He was still unsure whether or not it was from the pain or from seeing their faces, although he more would like to believe the later rather than the sooner. In any case it was amazing, how her smile radiated throughout the darkened confines of Aizen's fasthold, despite her loss of blood and near dying situation.

The look in his eyes and the slight curve of his lips diminished instantly at the sight of her nearly lifeless face. Her once rosy cheeks were now bleached white, her shining eyes now closed where not even a slight flicker of those (as he stated many times) beautiful eyelashes transpired, her nose no longer scrunched up in a perfect picture of a rabbit, and her full plush lips no longer casting that dazzling smile.

That smile.

It was the most amazing thing that he'd seen. For it was mainly her smile that allured him into what relationship they had now; correction, what relationship the have now. The corners of her lips would turn upwards in a full out grin at the sight of him, her eyes shining with glee. He was hooked the first time hed seen her happy, which was...well probably when Aizen was finally defeated.

* * *

_The last remaining espada had fled, probably from the realization that they were finally defeated. It was a hard battle they'd fought, lasting nearly two days and two nights. And now, as the first peaks of the sun's light reached over the hills, all that remaind on the body ridden battlefield were earth's heroes! Amongst their feet, the dead._

_Finally with the last waves of power, they were able to combine their attacks and bring down Aizen and the Houkogen within his grasp. It had been a loss among many, but a victory upon the world. _

_He was happy, as most were at the moment. They just claimed victory over a hard worn battle, who wouldn't be happy. But he was exceptionally blithe, for not only was the war over, but his life-long friend had returned to her original state. Her obsession over Aizen finally fading away, along with sorrow the three traitorous captains had left behind._

_Over. That's what it was, it was over!_

_His eyes scanned their faces, moving quickly over the front line, but he paid no heed to them. He was searching, searching for something; someone. _

_It was when her face peaked through the large drops of rain, which had fallen only seconds ago, that made him gasp in shock. Her hair was matted with blood, most likely her enemies than her own, and red streams washed down her cheeks and arms as the rain washed away the vital fluid. But it was not the site of her blood covered body, but more of the radiant shine flowing from her that made him gasp._

_From the darkened depths of the battle itself, and the crimson paint plastered amongst their skin, stood a small woman with the grin of a twelve year old. He wasn't saying it was childish and...stupid, but more along the lines of sparkling satisfaction. Yes that's how he would describe it...sparkling!_

* * *

He missed that smile, no 'missed' would be an understatement; he longed for her smile. It was the one thing that kept his sanity in check, as she constantly told him. In truth, Rukia herself kept his sanity in check. Those in Seireiti new that already, for when she disappeared, he was anything but sane.

It hurt him beyond pain itself when she'd gone missing, a face washed away from there eyes. He could rarely keep control when someone made her eyes tear up, let alone someone who would hurt her. He had rarely controlled his emotions when he first saw the first trails of her tears slide down her face, and he still had barely known her then...

* * *

_It hadn't stopped. The rain poured down heavily upon Soul Society, a sign of emotional grieving. It was, as it should be, a saddening sight. It had only been but two days since Soul Society last fought against the Arrancars, and all was dampened from the losses._

_But she stood there, soaking up the wet drops as if they were her life energy. _

_Rukia knelt down at the water covered grave, and she took the lilies she carried and placed them upon a small clump of dirt. "Kaine-dono," she sighed heavily, a lone tear rolling down her left cheek. In a soft and quite voice she began to speak to the buried remains of her former team-mate and friend. She told him of the voyage to save Inoue, and the sudden victory over the war. Told him of the losses and the gains. Once she was finished the brief one-sided conversation with 'we miss you', she moved to get up._

_As she moved to get up from her kneeling position, Rukia suddenly lacked the strength to move. She collapsed on Kaine-dono's grave, her body shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed. Realizing her foolish mistake of thinking she could show up here without shedding tears, she allowed the salty trails to mix with the rain. It was just that every time she visited his grave, she was forced to remember the moments she shared with him, and those last words of his burned into her mind._

_That's how he found her. Cradled upon the grave of a former leuitenant, her sobs coming out in loud gasps. He thought it a coincidence at the encounter, or so he told himself. He did not sought people out, no they came to him, and she was no exception. Or was she? Perhaps he unconsciously searched for her, his body moving without commands. It made sense considering the fact that it was her face alone that plagued his mind._

_It did not matter to him no more, he was here. However he was almost certain she was unaware of his approach, as the only movement her body made was the constant shivering. He changed that nonetheless as he placed his hand on her shoulder, an act in which he questioned himself with. She jolted in surprise and shot her head up to gaze at the newcomer._

_To say she was surprised was putting it mildly; shocked suited it much better. _

_She didn't say anything, nor did she move her gaze from his intense eyes, and so he spoke first. "Your crying," it was more of a statement than a question, and she volted back to reality._

_"Y-yes," she smiled slightly at his...what was it, confusion? "I always cry when I come to visit kain-dono's grave."_

_His brows creased in thought, more so at what he was going to say than what she had said. "I see..." he knelt down beside her, his actions once again having a complete mind of their own. hesitantly he brought his hand up to her face and brushed her cheek, "You should stop...it doesn't suit you."_

* * *

That must of been the first moment they actually held something for one another, whether it be friendship or respect. But it was a start for the both of them, one that came out positive in the end. And right now he waited, waited for those intense purple eyes to blink up at him.

And as selfish as it was, he had even wished for those tears to leak from her eyes once more, just to see the life radiate off her. Anything to get her limp body to move, to come back to the world of the living...or in their case the dead.

He clasped her hand tighter and softly brushed his other up alongside her arm, continuing its ascent. Once he finally reached the pale cheek of her face, he cupped it in his hand. The cold pale skin seemed alien-like beneath his warm coloured one, and he shuddered at the feeling. She was always warm, always radiating heat. He new that well, as she spent many times in his arms, her flushed skin against his...

* * *

_He had her in a full embrace as his voice rumbled in her ear, "There is something that draws me to you, Rukia. Some odd desire to be near you." Hitsugaya inhaled her scent-something he should not have done, but he fought the urge and continued on, "I need you to…stay. Stay with me, Rukia."_

_Rukia's eyelids drifted shut as she succumbed to the warmth that surrounded her, "I-I-Yes. I will stay with you, Toushirou."_

_At her admission, Hitsugaya seized her neck with passionate kisses. There was no second voice telling him to kiss her, hold her, or touch her. He did so of his own free will with only his need to be near her. All his memories with her flooded his mind. In nearly all of them he had seen her in some disdainful manner, but now that he re-evaluated each moment…he saw her in a completely different light._

_His disregard was replaced with care. His need to distance himself from her was replaced with his need to be near her. His initial desire to ignore her was replaced with the desire to protect her-to keep her alive as long as possible. And alas, his hatred was replaced with his love for her. He loved her, and it was clear to him as he held her there amidst the darkness and the wind. "Rukia…" He was hesitant, perhaps a little bit scared. "I-I'm sorry..."_

_She wasn't too certain what his apology was for, but she had her thoughts. Probably from when he had brushed her aside when she had asked him for help, perhaps even when he came to her 'rescue' not a second too soon...or maybe from not acknowledging her altogether. "Shhh...there is no nead for apologies..."_

_It was true, apologies were long forgotten in her mind, that and she had already forgiven him a long time ago. Life was full of confusion and doubt. That sometimes it can seem so hard to find your way without a little guidance. She realized now, that when you feel that way, you must look to yourself for the answers. If she were going to look to herself at this time, then she was going to choose him. She loved him, and that knowledge was all she needed to make her decision._

_He grabbed her sides, slowly descending to the soft bed that lay beneath them, placing her body under his alreayd drastically aroused one. It didn't get much better for him when her hands slowly trailed through the opening of his shirt, feeling the taught muscles of his chest and stomach._

_His eyes closed in pure bliss as her small hands lingered below his belly button, tracing small circular patterns. It was a miracle he had lasted this long without taking her._

_Time seemed to slow down tremendously as pieces of clothing slowly fell to the floor. Not soon after their clothes were discarded were their bodies entangled within one another. Their naked forms danced together in the lambency of the moonlight, as muscles contorted and breaths became strained. Their bodies moulded, becoming one, moving as one._

_They shuddered as both reached their peaks, lying down upon the soft white sheets of his bed. The short gasps of air decreased as their breathes slowed down to an even pace. His gaze bore down to her face as her eyes closed in wearisome. Yes sleep was most definitely welcoming at this point._

_He wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her body closer, savouring the warmth of her moist skin on his. She was here, and she would never leave him..._--

* * *

He dropped his hand back along his side, shaking in frustration and anger. Frustration at the situation; anger at his own stupidity. He should of went with her, ensured her safety. He could of protected her, would of even risked his life for her very own if the situation asked for it. But no, instead he stayed back and watched her lithe form gradually vanish from his vision...

* * *

_She weaved through the dead and broken trees atop the hill, portraying that of a butterfly fluttering away. She was nervous, her fingers fumbling with the end of her sleeve, a nervous habit of hers. She was always nervous, despite the many times she'd done this. It just seemed...different. She was now heading towards the open gate to the human realm, where her alone would be going on a mission. _

_The thought of fighting against a hollow, possibly more, was always unnerving, no matter who the person may be. But her, unlike some, cannot help it from showing. There was also the eerie thought of what would happen if she were to fail, something that constantly lingered in the back of her mind, along with the deceiving thought that her own strength not being 'up to standards!'._

_They all made her nervous, despite her will to prevent that from happening, or from showing. But now there was something new that made her distressed, that made her more on edge. The single thought of leaving 'him', if only for a few days, had made her gloomy, depressed almost._

_They had spent every day and every night with one another. each moment seeming more perfect with each time. Their days were spent secretly together, as talks of their day, the human realm, and their future kept them busy. Where as their nights, also secretly spent together, were filled with passion and desire. It was addicting for the two, to say the least, and the thought of being seperate for more than a few days was unnerving and sad._

_'It would make the reunion all the more better,' she replayed in her mind, easing herself into some comfort. Although it dead ease some of the tension, there was still more to replace it. _

_She jumped in surprise when she felt an arm encircle her waist, bringing her back into a firm muscled chest. A chest she learned to remember. As certain as she was to who grabbed her, she wanted to make sure she was right...and to see his 'gorgeous' face (as she'd often told him). She turned slowly in his arms, smiling as his white hair, intense blue eyes, luscious lips (which were carved into a smirk) and his flushed cheeks came into view._

_"I believed you weren't going to show up...I mean with all the people aro-"_

_He silenced her, his mouth moving over hears in an everlasting kiss. It became deeper as she wrapped her arms around his neck, moving her small body closer to his. _

_Both broke apart, gasping for air, and his smirk only widened at her flushed face. "Of coarse I showed up...I'd want a proper good bye from you before you left."_

_"I believe a proper good bye doesn't involve someone else's toungue inside my mouth," she countered._

_"I would hope not. Only I'm allowed that privilege..."_

_She rolled her eyes at him, her smile widening. As strange as it seemed, she always loved the way he was possessive of her, although at sometimes it was more of a nuisance than anything. But his playful manner, like right now, always made her laugh...well it was more of a giggle._

_Suddenly, as if the warm air dropped below 0, Hitsugaya frowned. _

_"You shouldn't be going by yourself, I should be coming with you..."_

_"Toushirou, please we've discussed this. You yourself decided it would be best for you to stay here...plus it would raise suspicions if you came."_

_"Everyone in Soul Society is already suspicious, so why not let them know the truth."_

_"We've also discussed this too. You have so much to do right now, it would only be right if we wait for it to calm down some before we decide to...well announce our relationship."_

_"Hm. You seem smarter than you look," he replied._

_"Hey, are you implying that I look stupid?" she huffed in his arms, turning her head sideways._

_"Hmmm...I love it when your mad," he grabbed her chin in his hand and moved her head back to face him. She blushed at the site of his eyes, his deep icy-blue orbs which always made her shiver._

_He turned serious again, his lips formed in a straight line. "I will be waiting for your return then." He kissed her lips lightly, a soft touch that left her wondering if it were really him. But he withdrew his mouth, and instead pulled her closer to him in an enveloping hug. _

_Her eyes watered and she wrapped her small arms around his body, hugging him with the same tightness. Her soft voice, barely audible, drew past his ears. "I look forward to seeing you again." As if that sentence being the signal of the end of their little 'moment', he let her go, his arms draping along his side. _

_She turned then, knowing it would be that much harder to watch him. But man was it oh so hard for her not to run back into the safety of his arms...those warm comforting arms that held her every night. A lone tear trailed down her cheek, but she wiped it away vigorously, knowing that the sooner she left, the sooner she'll return._

_Silently he stayed back and watched her lithe form gradually vanish from his vision..._

* * *

It pained him, reliving such a memory...the last one he had before she disappeared. Now he was unsure whether she would even remeber him...remember his voice, his face, his love. If Unohona-taichou were correct, than it may take years for her to regain all her memories. Who's to say that she'd regain them at all?

Once again, the familiar feeling of guilt jammed into his body, weighing down his shoulders. _'Why didn't I go? Why wasn't I there to protect you?'_. A sudden flare of reiatsu burst from him, sending the wooden floor splintering upwards. It was all he could to control his anger and at the same time maintaining what peace filled the small room. He wanted to destroy something, hurt someone...possibly even kill. But just the single cognition of leaving Rukia's side kept him put.

Even if Buyakya re-entered the room, he wouldn't leave...couldn't leave. Not now, not ever.

His palm tickled slightly and he shifted it slightly to curl around her hand more. _Wait._ A tickle? No, it was a slight twitch of a finger, a soft touch on the palm of his hand that shook him from what reverie he was in. He was alert, on his toes, as he gazed at their entwined fingers. _Twitch twitch_. They moved again, curling softly around his hand.

Quickly, his eyes darted upwards, looking into deep curious purple orbs. He couldn't stop...no, wouldn't stop as his lips broke into a heart-wrenching smile. "Rukia..."

And faintly, as if nothing were said, she whispered to him, "you're the one who saved me, aren't you?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**A/N: Okay so maybe it didn't seem as long as I said it was...but it still took so long to write! Also, I know I haven't been following the poll I have up on my profile, but I have now closed it and am now going to follow the results! I just wanted to get this out of the way considering I had already completed half of it when I put that poll up. So now I will be working on 'Trying To Help' although I will most likely put Drabbles up now and then, just so help my mind with writing the next chapter :D**

**Also I plan on writing another chapter (because this is a two-shot) that will contain Rukia's progress and how Hitsugaya is managing throught it.**

**Thanx so much for all you wonderful reviewers who have stuck with me still...I am glad to hear from all of you :D Please take the time to leave a comment or flame, I am open to everything :D**


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